To ensure a successful launch and the formation of a stable therapeutic environment, the Johanniter organization is seeking volunteers ready to undergo specialized training and become reliable companions for young participants facing the death of a loved one. Working with children during this period of their lives requires utmost sensitivity and a systematic approach, making the preparation of new mentors a key stage for the project’s implementation in the region.
At every support group meeting, the light of a flickering candle serves as a constant symbol of memory and continuity. The ritual for concluding Lacrima sessions involves lighting candles that the children make with their own hands as a sign of respect for a departed parent, brother, or sister.
This act is not a mere formality but an integral part of the Johanniter aid service’s methodology. Currently, trained specialists and volunteers help children cope with loss at 35 locations across Germany. Soon, this network will cover Upper Bavaria: in addition to existing centers in Fürstenfeldbruck and Freising, a full group will open in Starnberg in September.
The name Lacrima, which means “tear” in Italian, precisely reflects the program’s philosophy: it creates an environment where the most difficult emotions can be legalized and processed. Within the project, tears and the open expression of feelings are not taboo. Meetings will be organized according to a strict schedule: groups of up to twelve people will gather approximately every three weeks.
The work of each collective will be coordinated by four trained assistants, ensuring individual attention for every child. “At the beginning of each hour, we strive to focus collective attention on the image of the deceased loved one to honor their memory with dignity,” explains Alexandra Keller, head of Lacrima in Upper Bavaria. Each group will choose its own ritual for entering into a dialogue with the past.
Games, Songs, and “Wishes for the Wind” to Help Children
Following the introductory ritual, participants are offered various activities adapted to age-appropriate psychology. Through play, group singing, or collaborative artistic creation, children gradually learn to integrate the fact of loss into their daily lives. One of the most profound exercises is the practice of “wishes for the wind.” Children write their innermost thoughts, questions, or memories on small flags and allow the wind to freely “carry” them away. This method is largely inspired by the tradition of Tibetan prayer flags, symbolizing the transmission of messages to other realms.
Alexandra Keller, who has dedicated twelve years to working with people during heavy bereavement, emphasizes the therapeutic value of this approach. According to her observations, throughout the course, children not only find solace but also gain inner resources, becoming stronger in the face of serious life challenges. To launch this process in Starnberg, the organization requires volunteers ready to complete a cycle of three intensive three-day courses scheduled for June and July.
Qualities Required for a Volunteer Mentor
Prospective mentors face specific requirements that go beyond a simple desire to help. “For a companion during such a difficult period, it is critically important to always remain perfectly honest with the children and to be able to provide clear, direct answers to their sometimes very difficult questions,” emphasizes Alexandra Keller. Volunteers are expected to have a high level of empathy, patience, and a readiness for their charges’ emotional states to be highly unstable. The mentor’s task is to accept the child without judgment in any state: be it a burst of anger, sudden joy, or a phase of deep sadness.
During the preparatory seminars, Keller will impart a fundamental layer of knowledge necessary for group moderation. A special emphasis will be placed on rethinking one’s personal relationship with death and loss—topics that remain closed in many social circles. Over the years of her professional activity, Alexandra Keller has helped hundreds of people find a path to recovery, and with the opening of the new branch in Starnberg, this important mission will receive new momentum. The organization calls on residents of the region who possess the necessary qualities to join the team this summer.
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